KINCARDINE, ON – Finding no other suitable options, Ontario Power Generation has offered to pay 50% of local man, Fred MacKenzie’s, electricity bill as long as they’re able to keep waste fr…
Man riding elliptical like it killed his family
SUDBURY, ON – Grunting audibly as the machine threatened to topple under his force, local man, Jeremy Gaston, 36, was seen riding an elliptical runner at a nearby gym this week in a way tha…
SHOCKING: Veteran suffering from PTSD gets help he needs
OTTAWA – In an event Veterans Affairs officials are calling “unnerving and disturbing” sources say a man diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder after serving two tours of duty in Afg…
New York Times lists Canada as No. 1 place to boost their web traffic when mentioned
NEW YORK CITY – Citing our country’s friendly, yet susceptible people and our natural insecurity, The New York Times has described Canada as the number one country in the world to surge the…
Local Man aghast Popeyes doesn’t serve spinach
EDMONTON, AB – Hoping to emulate the healthy diet of the classic cartoon character, local man, Howard Morovitz, 38, attempted to order spinach at restaurant chain Popeyes, and was appalled …
Autocorrected text results in mob boss ordering “massage” killing
MONTREAL – The convicted head of an organized crime syndicate in Montreal has been found responsible for ordering the murder of a rival gang member who died after sustaining multiple massag…
5 Christmas songs Jewish people love hearing non-stop for an entire month
Christmas is for everyone. No matter how hard you try, everyone has to deal with the most wonderful time of the year. The music of Christmas is so delightfully unavoidable that you can’t help but…
Make-A-Wish foundation fulfills child’s dream of becoming tenured professor of economics
CHICAGO, IL – Finally able to follow in the footsteps of his longtime hero Milton Friedman, the Make-A-Wish Foundation has let one sick little boy live his dream of becoming a tenured profe…
STUDY: Willennials gettin’ jiggy with it less often than parents’ generation
WEST PHILADELPHIA – According to a new study released in the Journal of Comparative Demography, Willennials are getting jiggy with it less often on average than previous generations. “Paren…
TTC to implement “surge pricing”
TORONTO – Faced with a multi-million dollar budget shortfall and decreasing ridership, the Toronto Transit Commission is looking to raise funds and control congestion by instituting “…