As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to …
Bryan Adams releases remastered version of “Summer of ’69” where he giggles every time he says “69”
LOS ANGELES – In celebration of Canadian rock singer Bryan Adams’ most beloved hit, Universal Records announced today that they will be releasing a remastered “honest” ver…
Pedicurist admits “Your feet are the grossest feet I’ve ever seen”
VANCOUVER, BC- After almost two straight hours, aesthetician Pia Montibaldi, the woman currently giving you a pedicure, has officially admitted, “Yes, your feet are the grossest feet I have ever …
BREAKING: Mother of three finally figures out how to use digital camera
THUNDER BAY, ON – After finally getting around to using her Christmas gift from ten years ago, late breaking reports indicate that mother of three Joanna Johnson, 57, has finally figured ou…
BREAKING: Man remembers why he went into that room
QUEBEC CITY- After blankly standing around for several moments, late breaking reports indicate that local man John Grigio finally remembers why he went into this room. “He was just standing in fr…
Woman who actually finishes screenplay in coffee shop immediately spills coffee on laptop
VANCOUVER- For the first time in coffee shop history, a local woman, Sandra Carins, 26, actually completed a screenplay, one she had been working on for the past six years, only to immediately kn…
Ben Affleck trying to find a ‘cool way’ to get out of being Ben Affleck
LOS ANGELES – In a recent USA Today article, actor Ben Affleck announced that he is figuring out a “cool way” to get out of being Ben Affleck as soon as possible. Affleck said that role of …
iPhone X comes with pre-cracked screen, 89 group text-notifications
CUPERTINO, CA – After waiting months for the release of the iPhone X, Apple fans were pleased to discover new features that the new technology comes loaded with, including a pre-cracked scr…
Nation’s women running out of ways to say “YEAH OF COURSE IT’S HAPPENED TO ME!”
OTTAWA – A social media trend created in response to producer Harvey Weinstein’s assault allegations has reportedly exhausted methods for women to say “Yes all women”, “Me too”, “Obviously”…
STUDY: Shitty boyfriend will for sure change this time
DARTMOUTH, N.S. – Putting to rest any doubt in the minds of ex-girlfriends everywhere, a new study has found that – despite noticing an established pattern of selfish, inexcusable beh…
