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Yesterday my bud Will asked me what a cool is, and how did I get to be so cool? I told him I’m not so cool, I just have lots of style and pinash. He said what’s pinash? I said look it up, dummy.
I think pinash is like being able to seem cool even if you don’t have any money or a job or whatever.
For example, there are a lot of things about me that are not so cool. I don’t got a job, my girlfriend Amanda says I have bad teeth and I’m kind of annoying when I’m drunk (I am drunk ALL the time, LOL!). Plus I don’t got money, so I can’t buy cool sunglasses or .
A lot of people would look at these things and say I’m not so cool. But they are wrong and I will prove it, OK?
Cool things about The Champ:
- I got a piece of art in a frame
- I watched The Wire and could tell all the people apart
- I like Eminem, and everybody knows he is the best rapper (he is also called Slim Shady don’t get confused)
- I can run fast for a bit if someone is chasing me
- I got like 500 trophies in PS3, some are gold
- I once had a kid ask me to buy him smokes and I said I would, but then I just took the money and ran away (he couldn’t catch me because he was too fat, LOL!)
- I had a leather jacket for a bit until Gareth wanted it back
- I smoke cigarettes and lean against walls and flick the cigarette butt on the ground and when people tell me smoking is bad for me I say “so is messing with The Champ,” and I flick a butt at their foot, (don’t flick at people’s face, you can get arrested for that)
- – Dogs love me, they are always sniffing at my hands and butt. LOL dog, I got no food for you!
OK, so look at that list of cool things and put it up against the uncool things – you see I come out on top as a cool man.
So I said to Will, just basically do more cool things than uncool things and you’ll be alright. Since he likes to draw, that is already a cool thing (check out this picture he drew of Fresh Prince of Bel Air).
Add to that he doesn’t live with parents and has a car, he is in business. He might even be cooler than me!
LOL, JUST JOKING! WILL IS GREAT BUT GIVE ME A BREAK!
OK, so if you are really worried about being cool, just smoke cigarettes and swear,
and steal when you can and you will always be in pretty good shape. Now I have to go to the LCBO, OH YEAH don’t drink Smirnoff Rockets that is not cool, it is gross!
If you thought this was good advice tell people about The Champ, I am trying to help the world if the world would just listen.
Jeff
