ST. ALBERT, AB – Phillip Flansky, twin brother of Lillian Flansky, broke the news Wednesday to his twin sister that he wants to spend time with his other siblings.
Coming from a family of 12, the 14-year-old feels he has cooler siblings to hang out with.
“Lillian just got kind of boring. It felt like the relationship wasn’t going anywhere,” Phillip Flansky said. “You know, she’d always want to wear matching T-shirts and practice our twin code—this secret language we made up when we were, like, 12. I’m in high school now; I’m past that.”
“Twins change,” he added.
Attempting to look less like Lillian, Phillip recently dyed his hair and started growing a moustache. He has also been spending a lot more time with his 17-year old brother, Gabe.
“Gabe can buy me beer with his fake I.D.,” Phillip said. “And he’s in this sick emo band. He’s so cool. Sometimes he’ll even let me borrow his moped and let me stay in the same room when he smokes weed with his buddies. Lillian would never do that kind of stuff.”
According to Lillian Flansky, the need to part was mutual. “I’ve been thinking of ditching Phillip for a long time,” she said. “Once you hit puberty, there are certain things you should stop doing with your twin. Like taking a bath together.”
Continued Lillian: “It was fun while it lasted, but we’ve outgrown each other.”
The two agreed to be civil and still plan on seeing each other at the dinner table and during family game nights.
“We can still be siblings; we’re just no longer twins,” Lillian added.
