NORTH BATTLEFORD, SK – Local dad Todd Wolverton has been outside shovelling snow for an unnaturally long time, and experts suggest it may be that he is avoiding his family.
“I think he’s been out there way longer than he needs to,” said Xavier Wolverton, 9. “I saw him shovelling the grass, which you don’t need to do, and shovelling the sidewalk in front of a bunch of our neighbours, including the Bakers, and I know he doesn’t even like the Bakers.”
Eyewitnesses saw Todd look out the window during an argument between his wife and daughter over the amount of laundry on her floor, and softly murmur “looks like quite a storm out there.” At the time there were a few softly falling flakes, and you could still see patches of driveway through the snow.
“Shovelling the walk is important, and I am grateful to Kyle for doing this necessary chore,” said Kyle’s wife, Olivia. “But I also think that he is very into the true crime podcast he is listening to on headphones, and not very into helping me raise our children.”
Kyle’s family has noticed that his dedication to shovelling snow began when the global pandemic dramatically increased the amount of time the Wolverton family spent together.
“I can’t be sure, but I thought I overheard him say, ‘I hate these people’ while he was putting his mukluks on,” said Kyle’s daughter Charlotte, 7. “But maybe he was saying, ‘it’s great to be peaceful.’ Anyway, glad I don’t have to shovel. I’m too busy wrestling with my brother and screaming.”
Wolverton is expected to shovel snow until the spring, when puttering around in the garage season starts, followed closely by daily lawnmowing season.
