NEW YORK CITY – Even though it adds absolutely no flavour, noted rich fuck, Andy Robinson, 48, of independent investment firm RRBexchange Capital was reported seen paying over $1000 to add some shitty gold leaf to chicken wings of some garbage, and eating it as if it was something to be proud of.
“Get this on camera, I want to show everyone,” said the prick with far too much money to his friend who sources describe as also a rich fuck. “Gold nachos, bitches!” said Robinson as he posed for an Instagram story.
Witness on scene describe the two rich fucks entered the restaurant at 11:15pm local time, and sat down and order “dos margaritas and dos thousand dollar nachos por favor,” at which point one of them promptly excused himself to “hit the fucking ban-yos” and “do another bump.”
The dish was served at Lori’s Mexican Gastropub, who recently added $1000 nachos to the menu specifically to target rich fucks who don’t have anything better to do with their money than pay exorbitantly to consume gold leaf covered food, 100 sheets of which can be purchased for less than $20. Nutritionists assure rich fucks everywhere that gold is an inert element, and has no nutritional value.
Scientists say gold, the 79th element on the periodic table, is forged in the ultra hot furnaces of supernovae, and coalesced in the Earth’s crust, waiting billions of years just to be extracted and eaten by these douchebag banker bros.
This comes on the back of a failed trend to add metals consumable items, like Pizza Hutt’s wildly unpopular Nickel stuffed crust pizza and the state of Michigan’s recent unpopular craze of filling drinking water with lead.
Upon finishing the gold shit on their plates, they both agreed their food didn’t taste that good, but “Jerry was gunna have a shit fit when he sees it online.”
At press time, the rich fucks were seen leaving a $5 tip.
