BASTROP, TEXAS – Following a controversial week on X when the site’s AI, Grok, repeatedly made antisemitic statements and claimed to be MechaHitler, X has assured its users that they’ve fixed all of the issues with the rogue LLM—as long as everyone who interacts with it from now on has blood that is both clean and pure.
“We just don’t want Grok to be exposed to anyone who’s, well, you know,” said the statement from X. “We would be more specific about what kind of people we think Grok should not be interacting with, but at this point, we really don’t think we have to be more explicit than Grok has already been on this subject.”
Just six months after X’s owner Elon Musk performed what were either two sieg heils, two arm movements which looked exactly like sieg heils but weren’t, or two arm movements that were sieg heils but were jokes so it’s okay, X has become the preeminent social media site for users who want the Truth Social experience without having to actually sign up for Truth Social.
But since so many of the kind of people X does not want Grok interacting with have stayed on the site despite all of X’s efforts to drive them away, they’ve settled on blood tests to ensure the LLM only gets input from the kind of users the site is now exclusively catering to.
“We admit that our efforts to tinker with Grok’s programming did not go as we’d planned,” X’s statement continued. “We blame communism for that, and also the trans agenda. But we do believe this kind of embarrassing event can be avoided in the future if Grok only engages with users who uphold the ideals of X, ideals which we believe are found in the blood. What are those ideals? Again, we really don’t think we have to spell it out, you either understand completely, or you’re specifically trying not to understand because you don’t want to have to start over on a different website.”
“Blood tests are simply the next logical step in our attempt to make X the everything app, but not the everyone app. It should be the everything app for the right kind of people. Superior people. Uberpeople, if you will.”
Numerous politicians in Canada who are still providing free content and legitimacy to X despite its propensity to push Nazi propaganda were reached for comment on this story, and they all said combating antisemitism was very important to them except in cases where they might lose followers.
