OTTAWA – In light of concerns that social media sites would be used to spread deliberate disinformation in order to sway the outcome of Canada’s upcoming federal election, Chief Electoral Officer Stephane Perrault has assured the public that that won’t happen because the sites have assured him that that won’t happen.
“I have reached out to social media sites including TikTok, which was recently saved from being banned in the U.S. by President Trump, and X, the site owned by Trump’s close ally Elon Musk, and both sites have assured me that everything will be fine, and that’s good enough for me,” Perrault told reporters when giving an update about the election.
While American social media sites that want to please the increasingly authoritarian U.S. government could do so by ensuring the posts most widely shared on their sites benefit Poilievre—the party leader Trump has gone on record as saying he is more closely aligned with—Elections Canada is nevertheless pretty certain that won’t happen, because the people who would be the ones doing it have said it won’t happen.
“Just because Meta donated $1 million to Trump’s inauguration fund doesn’t mean we can’t trust them to follow our laws, and just because Elon Musk has himself expressed support for Poilievre and has spent a great deal of money trying to get American conservatives elected while also supporting right wing parties in other countries doesn’t mean he’ll try to do anything to help Canada’s right wing, too,” Perrault explained.
“It’s not like Musk knows that if he does put his finger on the scale, there will be absolutely no legal repercussions that affect him in the slightest because we’re taking everything these companies tell us at face value, and the election will be over by the time we actually start any toothless investigations into attempts to subvert our democracy. So things will probably be fine.”
Perrault concluded his remarks by urging Canadians “sites have assured me that everything will be fine, and that’s good enough for me,” to be extra careful about mindlessly believing everything you read on these social media sites. Unless it’s a post from the site’s owner about how the site is definitely not interfering in our election, then that post is probably true.”
At press time, Elections Canada was in the process of transferring several million dollars to the bank account of a foreign prince who recently made billions trading crypto and promises fast returns with absolutely no risk.
