The most romantic day of the year is almost here, but what if you’re busy this Valentine’s Day? Don’t start preparing for divorce court just yet; with a little planning and the right attitude, Groundhog Day can be every bit as sensual. Here’s what to do.
Go out for a romantic dinner – Candlelit dinners may be a Valentine’s Day tradition, but there’s no reason you can’t have a sensual meal on February 2. It will be much easier to get a reservation at the best Arby’s, and while the other diners may wonder why you and your partner are softly moaning as you feed each other champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries, that’s their problem, not yours.
Admire Punxsutawney Phil’s curvaceous body – Sure, he may only be about a foot long, but Phil still bounces in all the right places. Watch him wiggle out of his hole together and it won’t be long before another hog starts stirring, if you know what we mean.
Make a romantic Groundhog Day card – From “I want six more weeks of you” to “I’d love to root around in your den,” Groundhog Day is secretly full of lovely sentiments. For bonus points, attach the card to a classic groundhog gift, like a dirt bouquet or a big box of sweet earthworms.
Admire Bill Murray’s curvaceous body – Sure, he may be in his mid-seventies, but Bill still bounces in all the right places. Watch him wiggle around in Ghostbusters: Afterlife together and it won’t be long before you’re ready to bust something else, if you know what we mean.
Fuck – When in doubt, just mash your genitals together. It’s a classic for a reason.
