TORONTO – Local man Mark Huntings has expressed his firm belief that the CFL is a niche league that no one actually cares about, unlike the massively popular Major League Pickleball he recently started watching.
“Oh did the Winnipeg Bomber Jackets beat one of the Roughrider teams? Who cares man,” said Huntings, who has spent the last several months telling everyone they have to start watching a sport that is like tennis but without the speed, power or athleticism.
“The rules are so stupid. 3 downs and the field is 110 yards? If you’ll excuse me I have to watch an instant replay to see if Chris Johns did a volley from the part of the court where you can’t do volleys for some reason.”
Despite earning ratings that are regularly higher than the Raptors, Blue Jays or Major League Soccer, many Canadian sports fans in big cities tend to assume that only old white people in Saskatchewan watch the Canadian Football League, unlike the super diverse audience that follows up and coming sports like Pickleball, Formula 1 and Frisbee Golf.
“I guess if people like the CFL they can watch it. But they should recognize that, to everyone else, they sound pretty silly,” added Huntings before leaving for Quidditch practice.
At press time, Pickleball remains the dumbest sport in the world and if you like it you’re wrong. Just watch/play tennis. Have you heard about tennis? Tennis is great.
