Ten best “Best of” lists: Our list - The Beaverton

Ten best “Best of” lists: Our list

With the abundance of Best Of Year lists clogging up the internet every December, it’s hard to know which ones are worth your time. Luckily for you, the tireless team at The Beaverton has read all of them. That’s right, we’ve read every single Best Of published this year anywhere on the entire world wide web and compiled this handy list of best lists so you know which lists of bests are of the Best Of lists.

1. Best Albums of The Year – vinylbeats.com
Not only did you not listen to any of these albums, you’ve never heard of them. Time to scurry back to the stuff you liked in high school, grumbling about how there’s no good music anymore.

2. Best Podcasts – earwire.net
These podcast hosts do their own rambling ads, which are somehow longer than the podcast episodes themselves.

3. Best Online Essays of The Year – lukewarm.com
All of these were written by the kind of people who own brownstones, buy their luggage at the airport, and can taste the difference between sea and Himalayan salt.

4. The Year’s Best Books No One Has Read, Not Even the People Who Made This List – smarterthanu.org
You’re not the only person whose attention span got pancaked by the pandemic. Still, you should really read more.

5. Seventeen Crypto-Bros Who Lost a Fortune This Year – FinancialSavvy.ca
Admit it, schadenfreude feels pretty good when it’s directed at loudmouth douchebags.

6. Best Slideshows of Has-Been Sitcom Kids – PopCultureVulture.com
Can you believe these former cuties had the gall to age? Two of them even died. They look terrible!

7. Best Memes That Reduce a Complicated Issue to a Trite Falsehood – rightpryde.com
Why provide evidence or nuance when you can throw one of these into a comment thread?

8. The Year’s Best Artichokes – nytimes.com
Which were this year’s best bulbous edible thistles? Thanks to the paper of record, you no longer have to wonder.

9. Best Fan Theories About the Missing Footage from The Magnificent Ambersons – etsy.com
The studio’s recutting of Orson Welles’s sophomore film led to these suppositions from cinephiles, including the speculation of a lost scene where George tries to save the family from destitution by winning a “swivelling hips contest.”

10. Best Beetles – stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
Will “dung” finally snatch the crown from those snooty bombardiers?