TORONTO – Ontario’s LTC facilities have been forced to construct their own fake international airports in an attempt to gain Premier Doug Ford’s immediate action on COVID-19 outbreaks.
White Pine Meadows LTC has added a 4 mile runway, long enough for an Airbus A380, to their facility as it deals with an outbreak of the deadly disease.
“We are now welcoming back the very few Canadian travellers in the hopes that the premier will pay attention to what’s happening across the province,” said an exhausted nurse erecting a fictitious hangar. “We are now referring to residents as vacationers and we’ve dressed them in Hawaiian shirts for further emphasis.”
An understaffed nursing station was quickly turned into a terminal building at Blue Lake Lodge while PSWs at Heathering Heights Home donned Air Canada crew uniforms in hopes the provincial government will do something meaningful to curb the spread in these facilities.
Efforts by the health care facilities to construct fake aerodromes has shown some early success.
“We need to do something about these dying travellers in these long term careports!” exclaimed Ford on instinct. “The federal government isn’t doing enough! These people should be tested and should be isolated immediately.”
At press time, Ford vowed he would continue to spend 99% of his efforts on the cause of 1% of COVID cases.
