TORONTO – The Ontario PC government is claiming they didn’t follow the advice of public health experts because they were on mute this entire time.
Ontario Health Minister Christine Elliott said that she had accidentally placed everyone on mute during every Zoom call, which is why their advice was ignored.
“When we reached out to the [Medical Officers of Health] and other experts several months ago, we didn’t hear anything and assumed they were happy with our plan,” explained Elliott. “I thought the doctors and epidemiologists were mouthing “re-open the economy” and “thousands of cases per day isn’t bad.” When they were waving their hands at me and shaking their cameras, I thought they were just excited about the pandemic being over.”
In-person pleas to change direction were muffled by masks being worn over the mouths of experts and over the ears of ministerial staff.
“It’s hard to pay attention when you’re trying to be safe,” said the Minister.
Reports on Ontario’s skyrocketing cases and deadly outbreaks in care homes were redirected into the Premier’s junk mail since his inbox is full of developers making requests to pave over sensitive ecosystems.
