TORONTO – Despite heavy smoke and his neighbour screaming “my house is on fire,” Ontario Premier Doug Ford is not ready to call in the fire department.
With flames shooting out of the attic, the Premier has been cautious not to call this a house fire.
“Show me the evidence that this is a fire, and I will call 911,” said the Premier who was in possession of a cell phone. “We need to exhaust every other alternative to this being a fire before we make a difficult decision.”
Ford said he needs to rule out a light show or an optical illusion instead of assuming that the inferno poses a real risk to people’s lives.
“We have to think about the livelihoods of our firefighters,” said Ford. “If they come out here and discover that this house is not on fire, they would be pretty disappointed. They put their lives into fighting real fires.”
Ford encouraged bystanders to take half measures such as keeping a safe distance from hot areas and not inhale smoke, but continued to assume the fully engulfed home was not in any immediate danger.
“There are many points in which my neighbours can agree on this, such as the increasing temperature and how people can take precautions when entering the two-storey detached home, but we should get more advice on this from the experts.”
As flames spread to other houses, Ford said he would consider the screaming requests with an appropriate decision-making apparatus once conversations occurred with the right homeowners.
