WINDSOR – The only Canadian who responded ‘yes’ to an Nanos poll on whether Canada should reopen the Canada-US border for non-essential travel has been promptly ejected from the country via catapult.
Drake Yeardley of Collingwood, Ontario, demanded that the ban be lifted immediately which led to his prompt ejection by a 3 tonne ancient siege engine owned by CBSA.
“We need to start rebuilding our economy now!” yelled the 46-year-old man-turned-payload who was about to reach speeds of up to 200 km/h. “This COVID-19 pandemic is overblown! What about the economy? How are we going to pay off the debt without tourists?”
Yeardley made his final remarks about what he thinks is herd immunity before being launched towards a cargo net on the American side.
At press time, 100% of Canadians agreed that the border should remain closed to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 unless the travellers were members of an NHL hockey team because that doesn’t count.
