Thanks to the fantastic new virtual tour offered by Paris’s Louvre Museum, art lovers from around the world can enjoy the authentic, once-in-a-lifetime experience of waiting a really long time in a throng of exhausted tourists to see the Mona Lisa. Sign us up, please!
“Visiting the Louvre is a unique joy for anyone wanting to learn more about art history and French culture,” curator Rene Lomoque told reporters. “Now, guests can take a virtual tour that captures the real experience of a visit, from constant crowd noise that cannot be muted to people with selfie sticks so real-looking you’ll feel yourself involuntarily duck as you scroll through.”
The meticulously designed tour offers something for everyone. For example, if you’re North American, it will give you the chance to watch other tourists demand to be spoken to in English in a way that embarrasses you even though it’s not your fault. You can also attempt to speak to a museum employee using the few foreign-language words you learned specifically for this trip, and then feel potent a mix of gratitude and shame when they immediately switch to English. You’ll also learn that Da Vinci was Italian…maybe Spanish? Hayoo!
“Our hope is that these virtual visits will be able to bring people together,” Lomoque told reporters. “Which is why with our “party” feature, you can have all the joy of navigating a multi-level museum with your large family using a single map only one person is allowed to hold. And, you can experience the pleasure of trying to find polite things to say while standing next to your father-in-law and staring at a painting of a 17th-century orgy.”
For maximum realism, guests taking a tour are encouraged to wander around their homes without sitting down for longer than is comfortable because they chose to wear shoes that would “make them look smart”. There’s even a feature where the one goddamn bench in the whole place will for sure be taken up by some random lady who honestly doesn’t even look that tired.
Got your tickets yet?! Well one more thing, the virtual tour includes educational activities for youngsters ages 3-12 to be a good sport and pretend to like for up to 2 minutes before they beg you to take them to someplace that has a slide. Win win!