PHILADELPHIA – Mayhem broke out at the Wells Fargo Center this evening, when a Flyers practice was interrupted as an interdimensional portal opened up with several grizzled looking NHL mascots pouring out of the dark gateway. It was soon revealed that they had arrived from the future and travelled back to our timeline on a mission to stop Gritty before he gets too powerful.
“Where is he!?” shouted Hunter, mascot for the Edmonton Oilers, brandishing a fresh scar and wielding his lynx claws like weapons. “Where is that orange coward!? I’ll kill him!”
Reports were that by the year 2030, Gritty’s chaotic, seemingly goofy antics had evolved into nefarious and truly evil acts of destruction and conquest. The mascots from the future claimed it all began when the googly-eyed mascot ran onto the ice during a game and ate a referee live for disallowing a Flyers goal, Gritty’s bloodlust was exposed to the world in that moment and there was no turning back from there.
Gritty would go on to consume thousands of other people, swallowing them whole while jiggling his rotund belly, taunting those who watched in horror as he grew in size to accommodate more lost souls entering the untold horrors of his cavernous insides. Gritty seemed to absorb the power and life energy of everything he ate, feasting on humans, animals, and machines alike. It wasn’t long until weapons were no longer able to pierce the mascots thick flesh.
“It’s too late for our timeline…” explained a war-worn S.J. Sharkie. “But I realised we could help others with what we know. By going back in time to kill Gritty before any of this happened we could save so many lives from that sick monster. He… he killed Carlton the Bear. He didn’t even blink when he did it… just kept smiling as he slowly pulled him apart while Carlton screamed for help, while we watched helplessly. We’re not making that mistake again.”
As of press time, Youppi was seen sitting alone staring into a photograph of him and Gritty as childhood best friends. “I won’t let them hurt you…” the Montreal mascot muttered to himself. “I know this isn’t who you are…”
