OTTAWA—A new poll shows that a surprisingly high number of Canadians would support the new People’s Party launched by Maxime Bernier solely for the pleasure of watching Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s reaction to the poll numbers.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Sherry Wilney of Saskatoon told reporters. “Bernier’s obviously capitalizing on the most venal impulses of the electorate and any vote legitimizing him would be deeply concerning.”
“But can you just imagine the face Scheer would make while doing a press conference and having to explain how vote splitting on the right led to another Trudeau majority government. It’d be hilarious.”
Canadians were sharply divided on the issue of what Scheer would look like, with some guessing it would be “that cement half-smile thing he does, but he’s just screaming”, and some guessing it would be “him holding his eyes closed and whispering ‘industrial deregulation’ over and over.”
“Personally I think he’d start crying and tears would pool in his dimples, until eventually the dimples would fill up and water would leak out of them, and then it would look like his dimples were crying,” speculated Glenn O’Brien of Whitby.
Canadians were also divided on how guilty they would feel on watching a hypothetical video of Scheer trying to claim that Bernier “presents no threat to our party” while crouching behind a floor lamp.
A further 10% of respondents advised they would consider supporting the People’s Party if someone dared them to.
