ETOBICOKE, ON – With the Conservatives still polling strongly, party insiders say the secret to Ford’s ongoing success is the brilliance of chief economic advisor Frank: a good buddy who’s helped Doug out of a couple jams.
“Oh, Frank knows all about numbers,” said Ford Nation member Jill Grayson. “He used to flip used cars for Terry down at the lot, so yeah, I guess you could say he’s qualified to run the 6th largest economy in North America.”
Among Frank’s brilliant economic ideas include cutting taxes and literally nothing else.
“Look, Frank may not have a fancy education or any experience,” said Ford. “But when the shit goes down, Frank’s there.”
Ford supporters say that Frank, in addition to being pretty sharp, is also good with his hands, knows a ton of guys, and owns a car with a big trunk.
“I ask you, who would you rather have running the Province’s economy” said Ford, to a cheering crowd. “An economist, or a guy who’ll show up at 4 in the morning with a bottle of bleach and no questions asked?”
Ford’s is the most daring Conservative economic plan since Stephen Harper cut hundreds of public sector jobs to punish the economy for being bad.
