Millennials have had a rough ride. And while early retirement may seem impossible to the young demographic taking over the workforce, this millennial has figured out a quick and easy shortcut to financial security.
That’s right. Financial analyst Frank McGlaughlin has four times his salary saved and is already two years away from retirement. How did he do it? An investment trick many don’t know about that he calls “being born in 1954.” His strategy is already paying off with massive gains.
“All you have to do,” says McGlaughlin, “is have a woman give birth to you in 1954. Now there are a lot of ways to make this happen, but the key is to get your father to fuck your mother sometime from the middle of 1953 to early 1954.”
Wow! Sounds difficult, right? Not so says the longtime finance pro. “1954 is what worked for me, but you could do the same from 1948 pretty much until 1964. Any of those really will work, and you’ll see significant financial gains.”
But that’s not the only tip he has for his fellow young people. According to him, that’s only the first step.
According to McGlaughlin, the best way to secure a stable and reliable future is to get employed on the ground floor of an already established multi-billion dollar conglomerate. If you can manage to become one of the original officers or directors for a company like Coca Cola, Walmart, or Apple, it will seem like you’ve been given a license to print money!
“Just present well and show gumption and you’ll be fine,” he adds. “Don’t worry about qualifications. They’ll train you. It’s considered part of doing business.”
In addition to being born in 1954, McGlaughlin says millennials should consider buying a house in 1954 as well. Studies show that for houses bought over 60 years ago, the return on investment today is astronomical. It’s an option many don’t even consider at all! Millennials should also think about going to university in 1954, buying a car in 1954, or renting an apartment in 1954, as 1954 offers competitive rates on all these purchases.
So skip the avocado toast and latest iPhone, and follow McGlaughlin’s foolproof financial advice!
“It’s for these reasons that I highly recommend millennials take the time be born in 1954 now, as it will take a huge burden off their shoulders later,” McGlaughlin recommends. “With discipline and patience, it’s never too early to get started saving for retirement.”