ANCIENT JERUSALEM – The 11 remaining disciples of Jesus Christ were met with a merry prank this April Fools’ morning, after rushing to his tomb to find his body still there and very dead.
“Oh lord,” cried out Peter, seeing Jesus’ body laid out with a papyrus sign reading ‘JUST JOSHING’ hung around his neck. “You have forsaken us!”
Jesus, whose love of practical joking and jackanapery has been downplayed by most religious scholars, reports in several letters written before his death that after realizing that the promised day of his resurrection would fall on April 1st, he simply couldn’t resist the chance to “get the guys real good.”
“Oh man, this is gonna be great,” writes Christ. “I’ve got my friends Mary, Mary, and Mary helping me out, so all that’s left for me to do is die a horrific tortuous death.”
“Honestly, the fellas are just too easy. They thought they were drinking my blood the other night!”
The disciples report that at first they doubted the women, not only because of their status as women in a biblical-time world but also because their claim sounded like a “classic Jesus setup.”
“We’ve been had far too many times,” said Luke, red-eyed. “But we saw that they were bearing myrrh, and we remembered what Jesus had foretold and figured that he wouldn’t kid around about something so serious.”
“And did he really have to make them pose his hands as finger guns?”
This is Jesus’ best prank since convincing the world that they can wash away their sins with nothing but humility and prayer.
