WASHINGTON, D.C. – The National Rifle Association is struggling after a group of teenagers used aggressive bullying tactics to disrespect and humiliate the innocent arms advocates.
NRA spokesperson, Harold Lear, says the bullying began after a few small ‘misunderstandings’ caused their popularity to decline. “Sure, we made friends with some lone wolf types, but that doesn’t mean we deserve to be bullied. It’s not our fault.”
“These bullies, they really take advantage of any weakness they see. They’ve called us names, told us to go to hell, threatened to beat us at the ballot box. It’s cruel. Sure, we as an association have been tangentially responsible for hundreds of shootings, but we’re still a person, legally.”
Lear goes on to talk about the isolation the NRA continues to face. “It feels like everyone in the world would be better off if we weren’t even here,” says Lear.
Developmental psychologists agree that bullying has the potential to be damaging, and sometimes fatal in the long term. Vulnerable groups like NRA stand to lose confidence, self-esteem and, most worryingly, money.
“Before being bullied, they were just your average corporate advocacy group who enjoyed studying industry sponsored science and making videos to endorse their heroes,” says John McCain, one of the the United States Congress members that serve as the NRA’s legal guardians. “Now family members say their spirit has been crushed by these teen bullies, and they hate getting out of bed to go to the Capitol Building in the morning.”
“Where are the parents and teachers? Why won’t they do anything? It’s almost like they’re encouraging these kids to victimize them,” McCain continued. “People can’t just shame every little injustice they see. If we all did that, kind of society would we live in?”
At press time, the teens accused of bullying were sending the NRA their thoughts and prayers.
