Ach-To — As tends to happen to people on Christmas, local elderly man Luke Skywalker is alleged to have completely changed his personality with a seemingly supernatural abruptness.
It is unclear what exactly led to this controversial behavioural shift, but – as tends to happen to people on Christmas – it has been confirmed that it occurred at some point after the death of a morally dubious man Skywalker was close to.
Sources close to Skywalker say that after the other man’s funeral on the forest moon of Endor – as tends to happen to people on Christmas – the Jedi Master was visited by three ghosts; one little tiny one, one sporting robes and a luxurious white beard, and another dark and mysterious one, with conflicting reports regarding its appearance (some say it resembled actor Hayden Christensen while others say it looked more like Sebastian Shaw).
As tends to happen to people on Christmas, the reclusive elder is said to now be behaving in a manner that nobody would have expected from him, and this tectonic shift has scandalized all of London and also Twitter.
Sources also say that the ornery senior may even finally visit his nephew.
