TORONTO – The federal Liberals recently-announced low-income housing strategy suggests that the fastest way of receiving subsidized housing is by becoming a Canadian Prime Minister.
“What we’re announcing today is a 40-60 year plan for all Canadians who are in need of affordable housing,” announced Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. “And speaking from personal experience, this program is comprehensive. [The government] gives you a big house with a swimming pool, private security, and so many bedrooms I’ve lost count. They even moved me and my family to a nice cottage while the renovations are being completed.”
The Prime Minister Subsidized Housing Plan is located at 24 Sussex Drive in Ottawa, and can accommodate a large family.
Trudeau explained that all Canadians need to do is run for public office representing a major political party, get elected, climb partisan ranks, fundraise millions of dollars, launch a leadership bid, win the leadership race, become a household name, campaign against your opponents, put in a strong performance in nationally televised debates, and win the election before becoming part of the Prime Minister’s plan.
“The 1.7 million Canadians in need of assistance are much better off putting your name in for Prime Minister, and to a lesser extent Governor General or Official Opposition Leader. Existing vacancies for subsidized housing will inevitably turn into an AirBnB anyway.”
While critics say that six decades is too long of a wait to receive much needed housing, they admit it’s much better than the national average of two centuries.
