Move over Trump! You’re not the only one bringing jobs back to coal miners. Once so-called victims of today’s highly automated economy, these seventeen former employees of Teck Resources Ltd. have taken advantage of government subsidized job retraining programs to create careers for themselves in the 21st century as social media influencers!
“I used to spend most of my days operating heavy equipment deep below the Earth,” said Travis Carrington, 49, of Elkford, B.C. who can now be found setting Insta on fire under the handle CrystalBlkLung. “Now people actually pay me to post cute selfies and track my workout routine!”
“I may not have benefits or stability, but at least I have tons of likes and all the free protein powder I can eat care of Medi-Xtreme Pro Nutritionals.”
“It’s all about learning new skills for the new economy,” says human resources professor, Dr. Edna Hancook of the Schulich School of Business at York University, noting the developed world’s shift from an industrial economy to a service and attention based economy. “Employers who succeed spend less time on the basics of ventilation shaft maintenance filtration systems and more time preparing their workers for using the best hashtags, like: #noairfilter #smootselfie #Iwokeuplikethis.”
A recent Throwback Thursday post made by Gerald McKenzie, also known as @IAmMineShaft, brought up a poignant selfie of his last day on the job working in the coal industry, causing a deluge of supportive comments made him realize that destiny had steered him in the right direction.
“It was overwhelming,” said McKenzie, “Here I was lamenting that there is no coal emoji, when the only emoji I needed after all was the heart emoji. And also the happy face with tears. And obvi the eggplant.”
“Hashtag blessed!”
Now because of the miracle of social media, other down-and-out blue collar workers can use them as an example, and know that with some charisma and consistent content posting, they too can know what it’s like to stop their back-breaking labour, and go online to make upwards of $13,000 a year!
