NEW YORK CITY — Reports have confirmed that at approximately 12:03 AM eastern time, just after the last of the servants had gone to bed, First Lady Melania Trump was seen whispering gentle words of encouragement to the family of Syrian refugees hiding behind Trump Tower’s walls.
“Goodnight, friends,” she murmured, handing a plate of bread and cheese through an opening that had appeared after she pulled a battered copy of “The Art of the Deal” from the President’s bookshelf. “Soon the coast will be clear for you to move.”
Despite Melania’s best efforts to hide the family, President Trump was beginning to become wary of her, and had noticed strange occurrences throughout the house. These included the time a stew Melania had prepared had mysteriously disappeared, or the time he woke up to the sounds of two children laughing and singing a song about an orange ghost with tiny hands.
Sources report Mrs. Trump was later seen by her husband placing a lantern in the 26th floor window to alert her compatriots that the transfer must occur within the fortnight.
“Don’t worry, Donald, the strange light, it is is only a device to keep the wrinkles away,” she had purred, her smile vanishing as soon as her husband lumbered away.
Reports have also indicated that despite the danger, Mrs. Trump was unable to repress a rueful grin when she had her ingenious idea to remove solid gold towel rack from her husband’s bedroom to finance her clandestine guests’ flight.
“Here, Mrs. Kapur–once you’re free of the city limits, bring this tacky nonsense to Flushing and ask for a man named the Tabby.,” she had whispered as her husband shouted for toilet paper from the next room.
The last question which reportedly nagged at Mrs. Trump as she awaited the arrival of the Messenger who was to transport her guests was about her son. Dare she inform little Barron of the danger his mother was in–that they both would be–if his father found out?
