OTTAWA – Following their sold out concert in the Nation’s Capital, notorious chamber music band The Opus Four have be heavily fined for tastefully redecorating their room at the Marriott.
According to hotel manager Richard Munston, the improvements made to the room are both irreversible, and extreme.
“Whenever we have classical musicians staying, we expect a certain amount of renovation, but this was too much. When I was finally able to get into their suite, I was appalled by how much nicer everything looked. They put up new wallpaper, had new covers brought in, and fixed that one wobbly table. I think they even brought in some antique furniture! Needless to say, the room is too nice for our other guests until we can mess it up again.
The only member of the Opus Four who could be reached for comment was first violinist Wilford Gambord the 3rd. “Me and my mates didn’t mean any real trouble.” Gambord said. “We got back to the room, had a bit of chardonnay. Then at some point during the night, Randell Pensworth, our resident crazy cellist, said that he wanted to get classy up in this room.”
“But you know, what? That’s chamber music! You think Mozart didn’t tidy up a few inns in his day? Besides, this is nothing compared to our tour of Alberta last year. We wanted to paint the town red, and if it didn’t look so garish, we just might have!”
The Opus Four have arguably gained as much attention for their majestic playing as their rambunctious offstage presence. The group’s viola player, Edward Georges, is currently the centre of the a lawsuit after allegations of him taking an extra ibuprofen.
At press time, the Opus Four have reportedly put out a notice to their female fanbase concerning a pair of undergarments that was thrown at them at the concert, that they wanted to return after adding a nice lace trim.
