CHICAGO, IL – Finally able to follow in the footsteps of his longtime hero Milton Friedman, the Make-A-Wish Foundation has let one sick little boy live his dream of becoming a tenured professor of economics at the prestigious University of Chicago.
“Thank you Make-A-Wish for letting me do what every kid wants to do when they grow up: study the free market,” said Danny, the adorable boy wearing a batman costume from his wheelchair.
“My Dad says the free market is great. And I’m so happy the market has decided I can be a professor now.”
Despite suffering from a rare form of neuroblastoma, Prof. Daniel M. Allister, 8, was given his full professorship post along with the role of vice chair of monetary policy studies.
“Normally we look for several years of assistant or associate professorship experience before even thinking about giving tenure to one of our faculty,“ said University of Chicago President Robert Zimmer.
“But looking at him just hanging in there was evidence enough for us to grant him full job security and a seat at any thesis defense.”
“I was widely considered next in line to get tenure,” said Dr. Nigel Wertheim, who has been instructing undergraduate courses on contract for five years.
“I’ll admit, I was angry when I wasn’t chosen, but when I learned that they were bringing in a hero like Danny, I let him be a co-author on my latest paper.”
As for teaching, Prof. Danny has taken over from Prof. Allen Sanderson’s popular undergraduate introduction to macroeconomics, and even though it’s mid-semester, many students were pleased with the change.
“I will say, I was a bit skeptical at first,” said freshman Clarissa Rosenthal.
“But then I saw how brave that little guy was. After that, it didn’t really matter how opaque his explanation was of how exchange rates affect domestic liquidity demand for US currency.”
“He’s a great kid and I think he will have a lot to contribute to the economic discourse if you give him a chance,” said newly chosen head teaching assistant John Cena, known for his work as a World Wrestling Entertainment star and Make-A-Wish ambassador.
“And he’s tough. Not only to be fighting his terrible disease, but also he refuses to grade on a bell curve because he says bells are for girls.”
Early rumours from the Nobel committee say Prof. Danny is a shoe-in for the newly created Nobel prize for Awesomeness in Economics and High Fives, provided he survive until award season.
Earlier in the year, the Make-A-Wish foundation fulfilled a similar wish by installing a 6-year-old girl with a brain tumour as head of the World Bank.
