Yukon votes 2016: Party platforms - The Beaverton
http://www.legassembly.gov.yk.ca/

Yukon votes 2016: Party platforms

Yukoners will head to the polls on November 7th to elect 19 members of the Legislative Assembly. Here’s what the four political parties have to offer:

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The

Indigenous Relations: Promises to consult First Nations the moment the bulldozers and fracking equipment arrive on their traditional territory.

Ethics: Reduce the number of criminal charges against MLAs by 50%.

Healthcare: Relocate the Whistle Bend Continuing Care facility to an even more unpopular location.

Environment: No, thank you.

Transparency: Opening up government tender to extended and friends as well as immediate family.

yukon-ndp

Yukon

Natural Resource Development: Ensure that every Yukoner has access to a ‘Protect the Peel’ bumper sticker.

Economy: $15 minimum wage or bust the economy trying.

Healthcare: Mandatory 1950s calisthenic classes for all Yukoners.

Mining: Add 100 new government jobs somehow related to mining.

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Yukon Liberal Party

Indigenous Relations: Increase the indigenous synergy by 30% and optimizing results by 42%.

Economic development: Pave over to make way for an international airport.

Healthcare: Address seasonal affective disorder by adding one additional hour of sunlight during months.

Taxes: Lower taxes on businesses so owners can spend more on that holiday vacation to Hawaii.

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Yukon Green Party

Environment: Does anyone want to run as a candidate for the Green Party?

Economy: No seriously, we need more candidates to run.

Transparency: Just fill out these nomination papers and get 25 signatures.