OTTAWA – Canada’s new anti-spam legislation has put thousands of penis enlargement spammers out of work, prompting a new workers’ rights group to start a campaign to retrain them for door-to-door sales.
“You don’t just let an industry die out,” said Jessica Roman, lead coordinator of the program. “These people provide a service to society, like doctors or policemen. We wouldn’t let those jobs get wiped out because of some silly government legislation.”
Carl Digby, who was a star spammer who worked for several Bulgarian pharmacies earning $18,000 a year until he lost his audience, has taken the program and is now working as a door-to-door spammer.
“Women love big penises!” Rottman yelled to a middle aged woman after she opened her door. “Get the pump that your doctor doesn’t want you to know about. Also selling Cialis, Viagra. Very cheap.”
At press time, Rottman was stuffing mailboxes with chain letters and a confident letter from a Nigerian King who will offer you $5 million dollars if he can access your bank account number.
