MONTREAL – With the Montreal Canadiens facing elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs, one diehard fan is faulting goaltender Carey Price’s injury, poor refereeing, head coach Michel Therrien shabby planning, Ginette Reno’s bad luck charm and the mild weather on his teams inevitable demise.
“Why couldn’t it have been Markov that was injured in stead of Price?” begged Alexandre Huet, tears staining his red, white and blue face paint. “We’re used to that. Just like Prust being out of the lineup.”
“Plus, Montreal are not getting calls from the refs,” Huet explained. “By my count there have been at least 84 different missed calls, from enclosing your hand on the puck in the second period of game two by Derek Stepan to an illegal blade used by Martin St. Louis near the end of period one in game three. I see Therrien complaining, but I assume like the rest of us they have no idea what he is saying.”
But according to Huet there are more reasons why Montreal will go another year without a Stanley Cup appearance.
“Josh Georges keeps preaching Obama Birther rhetoric in the dressing room and saying the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918 was a conspiracy to stop the sale of molasses to Apache natives,” Huet explained matter-of-factly. “Everyone knows this is why they lost. That and Alexei Emelin has mono from a game day tryst with Ginette Reno for good luck.”
According to sources, Huet was later heard blaming Hockey Night in Canada’s announcer Rick Ball for announcing the similarities between 1993 and 2014 during the first round between Montreal and Tampa Bay which “totally jinxed it.”
