OTTAWA – Although he is violently opposed to Justin Trudeau’s political party’s leanings, Jeffrey Soloman, a 23-year-old Conservative Party supporter, is unable to contain his sexual attraction to the potential Liberal Party leader.
“I don’t buy into any of the Liberal Party’s platform,” Soloman said while scanning through the media section of Trudeau’s website and downloading a selection of photos. “And I hate Trudeau’s ambivalence for things like abortion on demand and gay rights, but, forgive me if it’s wrong, I kind of love the way his lips move when he says the word ‘abortion.’”
“I just know if he gets elected that his fiscal spending will get crazy out of hand, but that almost makes him more charming, and something inside of me wants to give him a chance, maybe try to help him change.”
Ottawa-based psychologist Alvin Remeider says he has been working with a lot of Conservative Party supporters who’ve seeked help with issues of confused sexuality linked to Justin Trudeau. “What’s most interesting is that these young 20-something conservative men are not necessarily homosexual other than their attraction to Trudeau. Nor do they necessarily like him; they just want to fuck him. They’re suffering from an affliction that I have labelled Trudeau-homo-mania.”
At press time, Soloman was unable to maintain an erection while looking at photos of Stephen Harper.
