CALGARY – Several large corporations in Canada and the U.S. have announced plans to completely phase-out the environment by 2022 in order to focus on profits.
“Performance reviews indicated that the environment tends to underperform and increase company overhead,” said a spokesperson for the Global Removal of Environment Everywhere Now (GREEN) joint initiative. “Put simply, the environment has poor synergy with factories and manufacturing plants, and so to remain competitive, we had no choice but to trim the fat.”
“At such time that we are in need of any environment, we plan to outsource to Brazil, where it’s cheap, abundant, and not heavily regulated,” the spokesperson added.
