VEVEY, SWITZERLAND – Nestlé executives gathered from around the world to announce their grave concern regarding the impact that artificial intelligence’s water consumption will have on thei…
Tag: water
After weeks without water, Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians
CALGARY – After two weeks of restricted access to water for showers, laundry, and other acts of hygiene, sources have reported that Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians do all year long. “Jesus…
Italian doctors recommend drinking seven glasses of pasta water each day
MILAN – A public service announcement released by the Policlinico of Milan hospital today reminded people that despite the cold weather of the winter months, they should remember to keep ad…
Air Canada reconvenes meeting of the Four Elemental Canadas
MONTREAL – Air Canada, Canada’s largest airline by fleet size, summoned its elemental brethren to the Four Seasons Hotel Montreal this week for their annual meeting to discuss the affairs o…
Canada quietly quadruples military spending as it realises it has 20% of the world’s fresh water
OTTAWA – Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland released a statement late last night announcing an increase in funding for the Department of Defense. Further investigation revealed that the inc…
