TORONTO – Toronto Maple Leafs backup goaltender and good Samaritan Jack Campbell has spent hours looking for the person who accidentally dropped a $5 bill at Union Station in Toronto. The f…
Tag: Toronto maple leafs
Leafs finally discover key to success: not being in same division as Boston
TORONTO – Having started the 2021 NHL season with a record of 6-2 the ever disappointing Toronto Maple Leafs believe they have finally found what works for them: no longer having to play th…
RCMP warns of increased sectarian violence ahead of NHL’s new All-Canadian division
OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Hundreds of Leafs fans demand the NHL “stops the steal” of the Stanley Cup
NEW YORK – A loud and boisterous crowd of fans are demanding the NHL stop the conspiracy to steal the Stanley Cup from the Toronto Maple Leafs. Approximately 200 fans protested outside the …
Leafs bring comfort and normalcy during tough times by collapsing in playoffs
TORONTO – Seeking to restore a bit of familiarity to hockey fans living in such uncertain times The Toronto Maple Leafs are upholding their long-standing tradition of just shitting the bed …
NHL chooses Toronto as hub city due its fans having most experience watching other teams win
TORONTO – The NHL said today that choosing Toronto as one of its two playoff hub cities was a “no brainer” due to Leafs’ fans long experience watching other visiting teams celebrate playoff…
Despite suspended NHL season, Leafs somehow still eliminated from playoffs
TORONTO — With the NHL announcing it will suspend the 2019/20 season due to concerns over the coronavirus pandemic, the League has also announced that the Toronto Maple Leafs have somehow s…
Leafs scramble to find more heartwarming ways to lose
TORONTO – In the wake of emergency backup goalie David Ayres’ remarkable victory over them, and the subsequent outpouring of affection for him, the Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to c…
Leafs lose after failing to call up emergency backup team
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs have lost a critical game against the Carolina Hurricanes after coach Sheldon Keefe allowed his full roster of players to remain on the ice despite feignin…
Having to watch Leafs play now considered cruel and unusual punishment
TORONTO – In a unanimous decision The Court Of Appeal For Ontario has declared that no individual ought to be forced to watch the 2019-2020 Leafs play, on account of the overwhelming levels…
