TORONTO – To supplement the Toronto Blue Jays’ family-oriented Sunday afternoon games, the organisation has announced that Monday night games will now be marketed at depressed, childless singles …
Tag: sadness
Garage sale host far too willing to share which items belonged to dead wife
SASKATOON — This weekend Sutherland neighbourhood residents gathered at Ronald Keegan’s end-of-summer garage sale, only to find that Ronald is far too inclined to inform buyers which items were o…
Dog tied up outside of store for three minutes sets new world record for sadness
VANCOUVER — The look on the face of Tony, a young bulldog tied to a parking meter outside Denman Liquor, has set the Guinness World Record for sheer, profound, heart-wrenching sadness. “I don’t u…
Toronto’s hippest ice cream shop features ice cream you eat in bed while crying
TORONTO – The summer’s newest ice cream trend finally allows customers to be their truest selves. Check out Kensington Market’s new ice cream shop, “Dry Your Ice”, featuring ice cream that …
7 recipes to combat your existential dread
If you’re feeling the angst of meaninglessness, you’re not alone. Let’s face it, the fact of nihilism means nothing really matters, so eating well is only slowing down the count to your inevitabl…