OTTAWA — Canada’s Air Transport Security Authority has announced that travellers averse to being scanned by invasive technology will now have the option to be gracefully sketched like one o…
Tag: Romance
Crying character in movie can’t find perfect wall to slide down
FAKE NEW YORK – Emma Sanford, a character in the recent Netflix romcom Here And/Or There who recently experienced an upsetting breakup, has reported being unable to find the perfect wall to…
Living History: Grandma exchanged letters with John Diefenbaker where he talks about his “Dief Beef”
PRINCE ALBERT – According to local historians, 98-year-old Dorothy Lamb exchanged letters with Prime Minister Diefenbaker they describe as “thoughtful,” “nuanced,” and “almost impossibly horny.” …
“And m’lady will have the McNuggets” says modern chevalier
EDMONTON – A scene straight out of an old-fashioned romance is unfolding at the West Edmonton Mall McDonald’s as a modern knight is ordering his date’s meal for her. “Tell me, do you desire both …
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
VANCOUVER – It was last Saturday, a brisk afternoon on Main Street, just North of 5th Avenue. I was the person walking their wiener dog. You were the public urinator. When I saw you there, …
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
There comes a time in every relationship when we must ask ourselves: is he really into me, or is he just using me… to free his family from the curse bestowed upon them by a witch long ago? …
Inner thigh begins summer courtship with testicles
VANCOUVER — Onlookers at Cardero Park hoping to escape the record noon-day heat today were instead witness to something equally sweltering: watching intently as Kevin Shang’s left thigh solemnly …
32-year-old unable to commit to relationship knows exactly what pro wrestling entrance music would be
Niagara Falls, ON – While Daniel Kyle is unable to commit to a romantic relationship, the thirty-two-year-old graphic designer knows exactly what he’d choose for his pro-wrestling entrance …
Feminism Win! This Sex Doll has a mouth
In a man’s world, it can be hard to find a win :(. But this #feminist just got a little cheerier because see this sex doll right here? This silicone woman-shaped 46-14-36 vessel for Dick Dannon? …
Local woman pretty sure the census is hitting on her
CALGARY – A Calgary woman is fairly certain that the Canadian census she just took online was interested in far more than gathering her vital statistics. “It started out normally, you know,…