STEINBACH, MB – 26-year-old Jacqueline Westan spent the majority of this past weekend alongside a specialized, crack team of six of her best friends in an attempt to identify whether or not…
Tag: relationships
Local man finds romantic success by texting unsolicited dog pics
KINGSTON, ON – Reports from yesterday evening have found that 26-year-old Tommy Freen has come across unprecedented courting success by switching out pictures of his penis that no one asked…
STUDY: Shitty boyfriend will for sure change this time
DARTMOUTH, N.S. – Putting to rest any doubt in the minds of ex-girlfriends everywhere, a new study has found that – despite noticing an established pattern of selfish, inexcusable beh…
Couple spends weekend binge watching their relationship die
REGINA – Local couple Cameron Lacks and Joel Divago are excited to unwind after a long work week by spending the weekend binge watching their relationship die. “My last relationship I would…
Single woman spends afternoon daydreaming about her ideal future sandwich
Victoria, BC – In the hours preceding dinnertime today, single career-woman, Kathy Maxwell, let down her hair and got lost in a daydream about her ideal future sandwich. “Don’t get me wrong…
Graduating couple’s long distance relationship for sure going to last
EDMONTON – Philip Diiks and Jenn Roe, recent graduates preparing to move on and start their life, are confident that their relationship will only be strengthened by living 2000 km from each…
Man in new relationship becoming that which once he hated
KITCHENER — Local man Richard Stephens, having only recently begun a new relationship after several years of being single, has already found himself mired in the depths of the hackneyed, overly r…
5 ways to write-off last year’s failed relationships on your taxes
From the first, lust-filled round of craft beer to the eighth break-up bottle of scotch, the arc of your failed 2016 relationships is perfectly documented on the credit card statements you need t…
Local woman smashes 39 wine glasses on faucet while washing dishes
MONTREAL — It was a scene of total carnage on Friday night after local woman Natasha Campbell shattered 39 wine glasses in a row on the faucet while attempting to wash them carefully. The s…
Breaking: Dave starts 4th attempt at moustache
WINNIPEG – Multiple eyewitnesses have reported that Dave is trying to grow a moustache again. Although initial reports were mixed upon further inspection of photographic evidence, experts a…
