WINNIPEG – A Manitoba school board has adopted a policy requiring bullies to acknowledge the previous “stewards and caretakers” of the lunch money they steal from peers before spending it. …
Tag: politics
Marc Dalton & Scott Aitchison latest conservative leadership candidates we can’t tell apart
OTTAWA – Doppelgangers Marc Dalton and Scott Aitchison recently entered the already crowded Conservative party leadership race, prompting frantic Canadian reporters to wonder how they would…
Vanilla yogurt holds slight lead in Conservative leadership opinion polls
OTTAWA – A rather bland Conservative leadership candidate has gained a slight lead in opinion polls, according to the latest survey data. Leger polling suggests a tub of vanilla yogurt is enjoyin…
Conservatives say Trudeau will be defeated like all other dictators: in an election
OTTAWA – Having repeatedly called PM Justin Trudeau a dictator comparable to Vladimir Putin, the Conservative Party is vowing to stop him the same way freedom loving people have stopped all…
With Jackson hearings underway, Republicans regret squandering their supply of evil
LOCATION REDACTED ― The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of American villainy, who was reportedly furious at his underlings…
Backed into a corner, Liberals make deal to follow through on some of their election promises
OTTAWA – The federal Liberal and NDP parties have come to an agreement, where in exchange for passing confidence motions and budget bills, the Liberals will acquiesce and follow through on …
Quiz: Which Conservative leadership candidate are you, and why is it Pierre Poilievre you sick fuck?
The race to see who will succeed Erin O’Toole as ‘Prime Minister In Waiting For The Liberals To Do Another Scandal’ is on! And there are so many characters involved, from fun 90…
Doug Ford promises to spend second term undoing harm caused by first term
TORONTO – After un-cancelling the $15 minimum wage increase, Premier Doug Ford is promising Ontarians that, if re-elected, he will spend the entirety of his second term fighting tooth and n…
Doug Ford announces all policies will now be based on 2008 Jim Carrey film ‘Yes Man’
TORONTO – After declaring himself the Premier who says Yes, Doug Ford has revealed that he made the decision after re-watching the moderate Jim Carrey hit ‘Yes Man.’ “Folk…
Oh Shit! The same people in charge of our COVID response are in charge of our Climate Change response
MONTRÉAL – People across Canada are slowly realizing that the people responsible for the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic are also the same people responsible for handling our response to …