OTTAWA – Members of Canada’s national and local press are assuring Canadians that they will start to cover the RCMP’s violent and quite possibly illegal raid on sovereign Wet…
Tag: Pipeline
Trudeau announces construction of vaccine pipeline through Indigenous territory
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau confirmed at a press conference this week that the vaccine will be distributed to Canadians via one massive pipeline that snakes its way through every piece…
Justin Trudeau still pausing
OTTAWA – This past Tuesday, Justin Trudeau took a 21 second pause before commenting on Donald Trump’s use of military action against protestors. Three days after the briefing, sources repor…
Trudeau brokers solution to Notley/Horgan dispute by personally killing John Horgan
VICTORIA – Proving once again that he’s able to bring premiers to the table and force compromise, Justin Trudeau has put an end to Alberta and B.C.’s pipeline dispute by personally bludgeon…
Ford promises killing Greenbelt will finally allow oil pipeline between Barrie and Oshawa
TORONTO – Showing once again his keen mind for policy, Doug Ford has promised that destroying the Ontario Greenbelt will finally allow the kind of oil pipeline development that Canada has b…
Trudeau aims for pipeline accord by Freaky Friday-ing Alberta, B.C.
OTTAWA — In an effort to secure the construction of the Trans Mountain oil pipeline, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has engineered a magical “body switch” on the provinces of Alberta and Bri…
Notley assures BC that in event of pipeline leak, Alberta will pay its utmost respects
EDMONTON – In an effort to quell BC’s concerns over expansion of the Trans Mountain Pipeline, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley has promised the BC government that any oil spill or leak will re…
Elizabeth May shivs biggest, meanest guy in holding cell
BURNABY, B.C. – Emergency crews have been called to the Burnaby RCMP station amid scattered reports that Green Party leader Elizabeth May has shivved the biggest guy in lock-up following her arre…
Conservative Santa promises bad children will get coal, good ones bitumen
EDMONTON – In a rare public statement on Friday, Conservative Santa announced he would be replacing the traditional stocking stuffers of candy canes and mini-snickers with more family-frien…
Shocked Trans Mountain pipeline sees Justin Trudeau and environment holding hands in restaurant
OTTAWA – The Trans Mountain pipeline was shocked to discover Justin Trudeau on a date with the environment yesterday evening, after the Prime Minister had just hours earlier told it that he…