QUEEN’S PARK – Citizens of Ontario were surprised to find an unknown letter tucked amongst their usual mail promising them the untold riches of capable governance. The letter was sent by th…
Tag: Ontario PC Party
Ford announces new Ontario license plate slogan “washrooms are for customers only”
QUEEN’S PARK – Shortly after unveiling Ontario’s new “Open for Business” border signs, Premier Ford has announced that the province’s iconic “yours to discover” license plates will be discontinue…
Clean up continues after annual Ford Fest orgy
Vaughan, ON – Combing through the piles of empty drink cups and bottles of lube, efforts are still underway to clean up after this year’s annual Ford Fest fuck spree, with many attendees no…
Toronto Sun finds efficiencies by just letting Ontario PCs write their election coverage
TORONTO — As newspapers across Canada face budget cuts, the Toronto Sun has announced it will save money by outsourcing all of their Ontario election reporting to Doug Ford and his Progress…
Ontario PC leadership candidate Doug Ford hoping everyone has forgotten 2010 through 2014
TORONTO – Announcing his intention to replace disgraced Ontario Progressive Conservative leader, Patrick Brown, Doug Ford is banking that everyone has forgotten events occurring between the…
Mid-level drug dealer announces bid for Ontario PC leadership
TORONTO – A successful mid-level hash dealer named Doug Ford has announced his leadership bid for the Ontario Progressive Conservatives. The entrepreneur made the announcement earlier today…
More farmers using Ontario PC platform as fertilizer for its high quality bullshit
LISTOWEL, ON – Farmers across Ontario have already started using the provincial PC Party’s platform to fertilize their fields as the policies outlined are nutrient rich in bullshit. Allan O…