TORONTO – The Blue Jays have announced the departure of General Manager Alex Anthopolous due to a contract dispute in which Rogers was only able to promise him 150 long distance minutes. “A…
Tag: Netflix
Nation groggily wakes up next to Justin Trudeau
CANADA – After a ‘wild night’, where emotions and alcohol ‘may have gotten a little out of hand’, the nation has woken up with a splitting headache, next to Justin Trudeau. “Ohh boy,” said …
Toronto undoes belt, lets gut out as TIFF concludes
TORONTO — Following the conclusion of the annual Toronto International Film Festival, the city itself let out a sigh, loosened the collar of its dress shirt and undid its belt, unleashing i…
Harper recommends Netflix doc on missing/murdered Aboriginal women
OTTAWA – Less than a week after pledging to defend Netflix from any form of taxation, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has continued to rave about the many tv shows and movies available on the…
Canadians caught stealing American Netflix to be punished with 3-year Bell contract
OTTAWA — At the Canadian Telecom Summit on Friday, the CRTC announced new laws that will punish Canadians illegally accessing American Netflix with a restrictive 3-year Bell TV+Internet+Hom…
CRTC mandates cable companies reduce prices, offer flexibility, be the internet
OTTAWA – After months of deliberation, the Canadian Radio and Television Commission released a ruling requiring large cable companies like Rogers and Bell to offer customers the kind of che…
Husband absent mindedly says words that will be thrown in his face for rest of life
MEDICINE HAT, AB – In between scrolling through Netflix and checking texts on his phone local man Garry Wood, 32, has casually uttered the seemingly random sequence of words that his wife, …
Local couple replaces sex with Netflix
TORONTO – Local couple Mark Lui and Shelby Hollande have begun substituting sex with streaming film and television on Netflix. Said 32-year-old Shelby, “When we first moved in together 5 ye…
Pauline Marois ‘ne se souviens pas’ the definition of ‘souveraineté’
MONTREAL – At a campaign stop on the provincial election trail, Quebec Premier Pauline Marois admitted she “ne me souviens pas” the exact definition of “souveraineté” Marois recently …
President Obama barricades self in Oval Office after House of Cards marathon
WASHINGTON – Following a 13 hour binge-viewing of the newly released second season of the Netflix exclusive series House of Cards, the President of the United States of America has barricaded him…
