TORONTO – Local couple Mark Lui and Shelby Hollande have begun substituting sex with streaming film and television on Netflix.
Said 32-year-old Shelby, “When we first moved in together 5 years ago, we had sex basically every night. Then we got a free Netflix trial period just to see what it was like, and without really realizing it, we stopped feeling the need to bang.”
When asked how he feels about the lack of physical intimacy with his long-time girlfriend, Mark Lui seemed unfazed.
“I guess, before we had the ability to stream unlimited amounts of video through our Playstation for a mere $8 a month, I would have found the idea of going months without boning my girlfriend weird,” Mr. Lui conceded. “Having said that, I get it now. We’re working really hard, but we still have three more seasons of Pretty Little Liars to watch. There’s no time for doing sex because the characters are too compelling.”
Asked if they miss the days when physical intimacy was common between them, the couple seemed unmoved.
“Well, Hank has a lot of sex on Californiacation, and those girls on Orange Is the New Black can get pretty frisky. Both those shows are available on Netflix, so we’re good,” said Lui.
Hollande also added her two cents, stating, “I think I might actually prefer streaming video content to sex, in fact. With Netflix, Mark and I always finish at the same time.”
At press time, Mr. Lui and Ms. Hollande were also considering just playing Sims instead of having an actual human child of their own.
