OTTAWA, ON – The RCMP has issued a Media Advisory warning Canadians of an increase in bloodshed, property damage and general assholery due to the NHL’s creation of an All-Canadian division,…
Tag: Montreal Canadiens
The Beaverton’s NHL preview 2017-2018
The biggest question in the 2017-2018 season is this: Will Canada snap it’s 23 year drought and finally bring Lord Stanley home? The Beaverton takes a look at each Canadian team’s chances: The Va…
Michel Therrien to take over struggling Timbits Hockey team
MONTREAL – Former Habs coach Michel Therrien has been quickly picked up by a struggling Gatineau Timbits Hockey team who started off the season with promise, but dropped their past five gam…
Thief steals maple syrup using hockey stick in most Canadian crime ever, 3 dead
ST. THOMAS, ON – In what is being called the most Canadian crime ever, a daring thief used a hockey stick to rob a sugar shack and made off with 50 L of maple syrup. Also, three employees w…
Hundreds of sick kids to be put down after Subban traded to Nashville
MONTREAL — Following the trade of Canadiens all-star defenceman and philanthropist PK Subban, the Montreal Children’s Hospital has announced Wednesday that it would not be able to keep its …
Embattled QC cabinet minister steps down, maintains he flew to Florida for anti-corruption golf tournament
QUEBEC CITY — In his resignation as Treasury Board president, Quebec Liberal MNA Sam Hamad replied to claims he went to Florida to escape an ethics probe, telling reporters “my honor is as …
Quebec’s new history curriculum celebrates French victory at the Plains of Abraham
MONTREAL — Quebec has announced that its new high school history curriculum will highlight the epic victory by the French at the Plains of Abraham in 1759, which led to Quebec’s glorious wi…
PK Subban fined for swearing only in English
MONTREAL — If things couldn’t get any worse for Habs defenceman P.K. Subban, the 2013 Norris Trophy winner learned that he will be fined $50 by the Office québécois de la langue française b…
P.K. Subban’s $10 million donation to children’s hospital is a classic hothead move
BY: DON CHERRY, HOST OF CBC’S COACH’S CORNER Now I know what everybody is thinking about the news that P.K. Subban donated $10M to charity, but let me set you straight — this is…
Habs mascot Youppi publicly executed for the 10th year in a row
MONTREAL – An angry mob of Montreal Canadiens fans have carried out its 10th extrajudicial hanging, burning and quartering of its fuzzy orange mascot, Youppi! Condemned as a bad-luck charm …
