“You pussies wouldn’t have the guts to make me the most powerful man in the country.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and special guest Rachel Gilmore) talk a…
Tag: Mark Carney
Canada invokes NATO Article 5 against Sweden following Olympic curling conflict
NORTH SEA – Following a dispute at the 2026 Winter Olympics in which the Swedish team accused Canadian players of cheating, Prime Minister Mark Carney has mobilized the whole of the Canadia…
Media promises to only fall for the ‘maybe Poilievre has changed’ story 4-5 more times
“He’s the boy who cried ‘I’ll stop being an insufferable prick’ and we’re starting to think he doesn’t mean it.” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwoo…
Carney opens Quebec speech by saying “We all agree Maurice Richard was overrated right?”
“I’m just saying: he wouldn’t even make the league today.” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Ian MacIntyre) are joined by Edmonton’s own Henry Sir (Current Eve…
Carney uninvited to join Trump’s ‘Board Of Peace’ alongside Putin, Netanyahu, Lex Luthor, Megatron
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump disinvited Prime Minister Mark Carney from his newly-established “Board of Peace”, comprised of Trump, various war criminals, autho…
Trump demands Carney give him his standing ovation from Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following his poorly-received and rambling address at the World Economic Forum, U.S. President Donald Trump angrily demanded that Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney pe…
Emboldened Mark Carney delivers encore WEF speech about TFSA planning
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following a headline-making address about middle powers of the world uniting against hegemonic power, an amped up Mark Carney returned to the stage for a fiery encore s…
Ford to Carney: “Interfering in lower orders of government is MY thing!”
QUEEN’S PARK – As Prime Minister Mark Carney inks a deal with Chinese President Xi Jinping to integrate their countries’ electric vehicle sectors, possibly impacting OntarioR…
Canada chooses lawful evil over chaotic evil
“We looked around for a neutral evil country to trade with, but couldn’t find one.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the horrific I…
Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case
OTTAWA – This morning, in an unscheduled press statement, the Prime Minister’s Office has said that Prime Minister Mark Carney has turned off geolocation services for all his electron…
