OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre is demanding the TFW program be scrapped, in order for him to ride a wave of public resentment over immigrant labour into the Prime Minister’s office before …
Tag: Mark Carney
Carney hoping Canadians too busy applying for jobs to notice skyrocketing unemployment numbers
OTTAWA – In the wake of a jobs report showing the national economy lost 66,000 in August alone, Prime Minister is hoping that Canadians will be too preoccupied with filling out online job a…
Carney cancels invite for Project 2025 mastermind, wants fascist takeover of Canada to be more of a surprise
OTTAWA – A planned reception for the architect of Project 2025 – the infamous policy blueprint for the Trump Administration – has been cancelled because Mark Carney wants the pl…
Mark Carney celebrates Labour Day by ordering labourers back to work
OTTAWA – Employees of Whiteston Manufacturing who were told they were receiving a special Labour Day surprise at the factory today were delighted when that surprise turned out to be Prime M…
Leading physicists claim Mark Carney’s elbows are in a quantum superposition of up and down simultaneously
Waterloo, ON – The Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics put out a statement saying that after months of careful study, they can now claim that Prime Minister Mark Carney’s elbows are…
Mark Carney still answering question reporter asked 6 weeks ago
OTTAWA – In what is being called “a tsunami of words,” Prime Minister Mark Carney is still answering a reporter’s question posed to him at a press conference six weeks ago. Liberal MPs and staff …
Trump says Canada backing Palestinian statehood jeopardizes U.S. trade deal he was gonna break anyway
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.President Donald Trump has announced that Canada’s decision to recognize Palestinian statehood will “make it very hard for us to make a Trade Deal with them, which I h…
Home prices plummet from ‘not a fucking chance’ to ‘look into buying for 5 seconds before giving up’ levels
“If prices keep falling we could even get to ‘talk to your bank and get quickly laughed out of the room’ levels. We haven’t been that low since 2019!” Luke and the P…
Western World to recognize Palestine as a state in September if it’s still there
PARIS/LONDON/OTTAWA – The governments of France, the UK and Canada have said they will do what’s morally right and recognize Palestine’s right to exist as a nation as early as September, pr…
Mark Carney seeks to reach young Canadians by delivering speech in form of rap
OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadian…
