OTTAWA – For the first time since Confederation, the top spot on the list of Canadian exports has shifted from the sweet syrup of the mighty maple tree to anti-vaccine, anti-government, pro…
Tag: Maple Syrup
“I like to put a little maple syrup in there to start my day,” says man drinking mug of maple syrup
OSHAWA – A man currently guzzling an entire mug of maple syrup admitted today that he likes to put a little maple syrup in there to get his day started right. “We all know that feeling when…
7 fun facts about Canada that are neither fun nor facts
Have you ever wanted to know obscure, pointless, and flat-out inaccurate facts about this great nation, which will also leave you feeling kinda bummed out? Well, have we got a list for you! Check…
New law forces Albertans to carry at least one barrel of bitumen in luggage when travelling to West Coast
EDMONTON – In response to an industry-wide glut caused by an inability to get its oil to Pacific tankers, the Notley government has decreed that every Albertan travelling to the West Coast …
Nation pats itself on the back for only being pretty racist
CANADA – In the lead-up to the inauguration of an openly xenophobic US president, Canada is taking a moment to quietly congratulate itself on only being very racist. “Obviously, we’re not a…
How To: make maple syrup
Your fingers will get sticky just WATCHING this video. Educational Content Time!…
Editorial: Why must humans enjoy Fall and ignore signs of death all around them
By: A Maple Tree It is with great sadness that I, Yggdrasil King of the Maples, reach out to you. I recognize that this letter must come as a shock. Many of you leg walkers have been deceived int…
Top 10 Heritage Minutes to make love to
Take a look at the hottest Heritage Minutes that you didn’t even know would kickstart your love life. 10. Agnes Macphail Get tied up and spanked as the first female MP, Agnes Macphail chast…
Thief steals maple syrup using hockey stick in most Canadian crime ever, 3 dead
ST. THOMAS, ON – In what is being called the most Canadian crime ever, a daring thief used a hockey stick to rob a sugar shack and made off with 50 L of maple syrup. Also, three employees w…
Feds approve controversial maple syrup pipeline
OTTAWA – Despite drawing criticism for considerable construction costs and possible environmental damage, the Government has given the go ahead to a pipeline linking maple syrup producing r…