MILTON, ONT – Local man Frank McDonald is pretty sure he should become a spy after receiving a targeted CSIS ad on Facebook. “I was scrolling through my timeline, minding my own business wh…
Tag: James Bond
Fans across globe salute Sean Connery’s passing with terrible, terrible impressions
WORLDWIDE — All around the world, fans of Sean Connery are observing his passing with just the absolute worst impressions of the revered film icon. “Thish ish indeed a shad day for oll ush …
3rd grader informs classmates he can kill a man with any object
EDMONTON — CSIS recruiters likely have an eye on Northwood Elementary 3rd grader Dustin Fuller after he bragged to classmates that he can kill a man with any object. “If I had to fight someone li…
“James Bond can’t be black,” says man who believes Jesus was white
BROSSARD, QC – Amidst ongoing speculation over who will be cast as the titular character in the next James Bond film, one local man has offered his take on the issue by suggesting that Mr. …
Leslie Jones signs multi-picture deal to remake every single movie online trolls grew up loving
HOLLYWOOD – Following a hack and leak of nude photos of comedic actress Leslie Jones, Hollywood studios have announced a 35-film deal to feature Jones in remakes of every single movie that …
Daniel Craig loses Bond role after his new tan deemed “too dark”
LOS ANGELES – The author of the latest Bond novel has called for Daniel Craig to be fired after arriving to the Spectre premiere with a tan he believes is “too dark” to properly represent the cha…