CALGARY – As an increasing number of Calgarians struggle to find affordable housing, the City of Calgary has teamed up with the province of Alberta to spend $867 million to build one very s…
Tag: housing
TTC violence not linked to housing crisis, healthcare funding or the fact I hate Toronto declares Premier Ford
TORONTO – I know that people are looking for someone to blame for the violence on the TTC but I can assure everyone that this is in no way linked to the housing crisis, healthcare funding …
First Canadian to orbit moon in attempt to find affordable housing
CAPE CANAVERAL – Astronaut Jeremy Hansen, a colonel in the RCAF, will become the first Canadian to orbit the moon in an effort to find affordable housing. “Catherine and I have three kids, …
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” vs “Everything is perfect so let’s fix nothing”
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” by Pierre Poilievre It is a fact: our beloved Canada is irreparably broken. From unaffordable housing, to rampant inflation, to bold leaders being moc…
CBC journalist reports: “All landlords deserve a little kiss”
TORONTO – After hearing yet another story of a “Downtrodden, heartbroken, teensy weensy little landlord” who became upset when a tenant callously needed a place to live, Canada’s national broadca…
Great news! With falling prices and soaring rates, homes now just as expensive as they were before but in a different way!
OTTAWA – Struggling home buyers rejoice! After years of an impossibly expensive real estate market, it looks like home prices are finally starting to fall due to the increased costs of borr…
“Now that Canadian home prices have dropped, I can finally afford a house!” says maybe one person, maybe
TORONTO – After a recent drop in the Canadian housing market, city dweller and accounts manager, Benedict Witt, 34, has become the only person that is considering he may now be able to affo…
Millennial in six-figure debt for education dreams of someday being in six-figure debt for house
HAMILTON – Local 31-year-old Madison Clair, a newly licensed veterinarian who currently owes a combined total of $118,846 in federal and provincial student loans, reports that her greatest …
Federal, provincial, and municipal leaders strike landmark deal to blame each other for housing prices
OTTAWA – Reaching across all 3 levels of Government, the leaders of Canada’s national, provincial, and big city governments have reached a historic deal allowing them to shift the blame for…
Home prices still at levels experts call “Oh Fuck Me”
VANCOUVER – Despite early indications some Canadian housing markets may be cooling, benchmark home prices remain well within the threshold experts call “oh fuck me”. Whether prices will de…
