“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” by Pierre Poilievre It is a fact: our beloved Canada is irreparably broken. From unaffordable housing, to rampant inflation, to bold leaders being moc…
Tag: housing
CBC journalist reports: “All landlords deserve a little kiss”
TORONTO – After hearing yet another story of a “Downtrodden, heartbroken, teensy weensy little landlord” who became upset when a tenant callously needed a place to live, Canada’s national broadca…
Great news! With falling prices and soaring rates, homes now just as expensive as they were before but in a different way!
OTTAWA – Struggling home buyers rejoice! After years of an impossibly expensive real estate market, it looks like home prices are finally starting to fall due to the increased costs of borr…
“Now that Canadian home prices have dropped, I can finally afford a house!” says maybe one person, maybe
TORONTO – After a recent drop in the Canadian housing market, city dweller and accounts manager, Benedict Witt, 34, has become the only person that is considering he may now be able to affo…
Millennial in six-figure debt for education dreams of someday being in six-figure debt for house
HAMILTON – Local 31-year-old Madison Clair, a newly licensed veterinarian who currently owes a combined total of $118,846 in federal and provincial student loans, reports that her greatest …
Federal, provincial, and municipal leaders strike landmark deal to blame each other for housing prices
OTTAWA – Reaching across all 3 levels of Government, the leaders of Canada’s national, provincial, and big city governments have reached a historic deal allowing them to shift the blame for…
Home prices still at levels experts call “Oh Fuck Me”
VANCOUVER – Despite early indications some Canadian housing markets may be cooling, benchmark home prices remain well within the threshold experts call “oh fuck me”. Whether prices will de…
Highlights of the Liberal’s 2022 budget
Amidst a war in Ukraine, high cost of living and the return of Tim Hortons Roll Up The Rim, Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland has tabled the second budget of her tenure. Let’s take a look …
Canada to ban foreign homebuyers who refuse to set up dummy corporations
OTTAWA – The Federal Government has announced sweeping plans to ban the purchase of Canadian homes by any foreign buyers who don’t feel like bothering to set up a routine dummy corporation.…
We found Toronto’s cheapest apartment: Jail!
You’ve heard of micro condos and capsule hotels, but have you heard about incarceration? Toronto South Detention Centre is listing 1000s of one-bedroom/bathroom apartments for virtually no cost. …