CALGARY – The revelation that Canada’s junior hockey teams may have committed group sexual assaults on two different occasions, one of which Hockey Canada attempted to cover up, has come as…
Tag: Featured Post
Climate crisis: Popsicle consumption no longer looks erotic
OTTAWA – As temperatures rise across Canada, reports are rolling in that the searing heat has eliminated the titillation watching someone eat a popsicle used to provide. “My partner used to slowl…
Journalism students rush to sign up for ‘report whatever cops say as true’ seminar
TORONTO – Students at Toronto Metropolitan University’s journalism program were eager to attend the annual cops always tell the truth seminar. “As journalists we’ve been t…
Edmonton man furious he actually does know ‘Steve from Toronto’ American acquaintance just asked about
CANCUN – Local man Garth Evers was beside himself to discover he actually does know the ‘Steve from Toronto’ this American he just met on vacation inquired about. “When he…
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …
Summer fun: Top five Edmonton patios to inhale exhaust
Summer in Edmonton – synonymous with warmth, sunshine, and idling vehicles. To help you take full advantage of this season, we rank the best patios for maximal exhaust exposure. 1. Julio’s …
Fairy tale wedding? This ceremony was attacked by wolves
VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weeke…
Invasive spoon found in bedroom
CALGARY – According to reports from the Whittaker household, a spoon has been found on a bedroom nightstand despite the utensil’s natural kitchen habitat being well over a dozen steps away. “Whil…
Elon Musk as committed to Twitter takeover as he is to fatherhood
AUSTIN, TX – In a move that surprised no one paying attention, billionaire baby daddy Elon Musk has shown as much long term interest in Twitter as he does in his nine children (that we know…
80s nostalgia peaks with return of hole in ozone layer
WATERLOO – The 80s revival inspired by the hit Netflix show Stranger Things has reached new heights as scientists announced they have discovered a hole in the ozone layer. “If you thought t…
